The Lay Down

It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Honestly, it’s because I don’t like to force my writing. If things come, they come, if they don’t-oh well!

Now, we’ve recently weened our 18 month baby from nursing down to sleep-it was oh so easy to put the baby down and oh so easy for my hubby to just pass me the baby and say, “Bed time, he’s all yours.”

But my, my how the times have changed in recent weeks. The lay down technique for everyone is different, and these are what we’ve tried:

THE CRY IT OUT: Its exactly what it sounds like. My husband and I cry for the umpteenth time while the baby out wits us when we just go plop him in his crib like potatoes.

THE MIRACLE MILE: Where you just walk. Endlessly until baby falls asleep. You lay them down, they stay asleep, it’s a fucking miracle. But how long you walk is up to your tiny dictator. Don’t ask questions. Just do it. Good arm work out as well. 

THE CRAZY CRADLE: Where you bundle your little poo boss and just sit and rock like you are in an insane asylum. Which parenting pretty much is. Nuts.

Now for the dismount:

NINJA NIGHT: You gently lay your, by now sweaty and angry,  sleeping baby down without a hitch. You walk on your tip toes, close to the base boards as to not creak the floor until you get to the door where you, with kitten like softness close the door without a sound. You keep holding your breath until you are an entire floor away-then you can breathe your well deserved sigh of relief.

THE RED CARPET: I hate myself when this happens. Bambino is finally asleep and snug as a bug. You lean over the crib rail, the blanket gets caught and your baby rolls out like, yes, you guessed it, the red carpet at a fancy event. Or a Fruit Roll-Up. Sometimes you get lucky without them waking up. Sometimes you go back to Step 1. It’s 50/50.

THE HOVER: It doesn’t matter how you got to this point but baby is in the crib. The thing is, as soon as your baby doesn’t feel you near them they squawk. But you lay a gentle hand on them, they snore. This can go back and for an unknown time. Just be ready for quick thinking. If you commit to leaving the room, do it like a bandaid! Quick and painful and sometimes loud as you shut the door.
And there you have my last few weeks. Rest easy friends.

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